Ok, Colorado doesn’t really have anything to do with this, I’m just being silly.
But seriously, writing scares me. Maybe not so much the writing, but what the writing means. Bearing my soul? That some scary stuff right there! But then it’s the little things too, what if it sucks? What if I write myself into a corner and I cannot get out of it? What if I spend all this time and energy and then I never get published? What if I do get published but everyone hates it? What if I end up hating it?
The original idea for my story is 12 years old, it was an idea a friend of mine and I came up with to write together after I moved from California to Colorado as a creative way for us to keep in touch even if we didn’t have anything to talk about. 2 years ago I decided that the bones of the story where good and I began the process of remolding it, striping it down to bare bones and then re building. It was a long process; there was a LOT of crap in there and stuff that we just ripped off of movies and books that we liked because it was just for us, no one was ever going to see it. And now I have what I feel like is a solid story, with solid characters but I still can’t make myself write. Its fear that stays my pen, that has me questioning myself so entirely. But I think admitting you have a problem is the first step to making it better.
So I am taking this time to take a stand. I will not let this fear rule me. It’s a silly thing to let decide something so important. So I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m going to write my book. And that is that! Sure, I’m still unsure but I will never know unless I try. So I have to try.
How you ever questioned yourself like I have? Ever have doubts? Then I encourage to to take a stand with me, to look fear in the eye and not back down. Because this is your story and it damn well deserves to be told!
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Be sure to check out the Now Staring...Blogfest I'm hosting with my platonic-life-mate, Lindz. There are a couple of fun prizes, and it should be a lot of fun!
Sing it, sister!
ReplyDeleteGood job, Alexis. I think all writers must have doubts at some point. I know I do - often. But you're right, letting the fear win will get us nowhere. If you ever have the chance you should check out Holly Lisle's How to Think Sideways writing course. The first lesson talks about the four writing barriers. Fear is one of them.
ReplyDeleteWay to kick that fear to the curb! I think all writers have it, I certainly do. When I write first drafts I know they're going to suck, and I just let them. But I love first drafts, because the story is evolving right under my fingertips. I don't worry about polishing until later.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever seriously questioned writing, but that's because I started writing stories and attempting to write books as a second grader. (I was an ambitions little tyke.) Lol. I don't say this to be stuck up or whatever, I say it because when you're young you just do things. You don't think about them, it doesn't matter what others will think, you just let things inspire you. As people get older they start to let themselves be molded by what other people think and the expectations put on them and they start to get afraid. Start from the beginning. Don't let anyone discourage you. Look at your entry into the literary world as a child sees the world around him or her. If you can do that, you will not only feel free to do what you love, but will constantly be in awe of what's around you. :-) Best of luck!
ReplyDelete<3 (Fellow crusader) Gina Blechman
I have doubts about writing all the time, and I'm so glad you are taking your doubts and beating them back with a big stick! If you love the characters just keep them in mind when the fear gets you. They deserve to have their story told. That's what helps me get over it :)
ReplyDeleteFellow crusader stopping by to say hi. :) New follower also.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Yes, writing can be scary because of what you put on paper my be shared with other people and not just for you anymore. Fellow crusader and follower say Hello!
ReplyDeleteQuestions R Us! Join the crowd. I bet nearly everyone of the crusaders understands this. I'm following you now. ; )
ReplyDeletePlagued by doubts! Yes indeed. I think that's probably all of us writers. I'm glad to see you're not going to be defeated by the doubts. The more you believe in yourself the more others will.
ReplyDeleteGlad to meet you, fellow crusader. I'm now following your blog.
Hey, I just joined your new adult crossover group in the crusades. Looking forward to getting to know you better.
ReplyDeleteI actually have all the confidence in the world while I'm writing. It is only when I get to the editing that my fear takes over, and then it is sort of a roller coaster thing... I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it... Oi! The worst is querying and then realizing you hate it while people are LOOKING AT IT.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about fear taking over sometimes. I actually got to a point last year where I couldn't sleep because of the fear that I'd worked myself into a corner and actually decided to give up on the novel. Thankfully that didn't last long.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourite quotes is from Nelson Mandela - Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the triumph over it. We will continue to feel the fear, but if we let it dictate our decisions, then essentially, the fear has won.
I'm also on a journey to live courageously - we can encourage each other when the path gets rough! Looking forward to getting to know you more throughout the crusade. :-)
Hey fellow Crusader!
ReplyDeleteYou can absolutely do it! I think not letting fear rule you is such an important decision, but once made you will overcome :)
(Btw - I keep getting distracted by your "Reading now". I cannot wait to read Tortall! <3)